Mother
Mother had given up running a beauty salon to stand for Parliament, and had no doubt in her mind that one day she would be Prime Minister…
She was obsessed with Being Posh. There was a downstairs loo that was kept locked for ‘very important guests’, as if a member of the royal family was going to swing by for a waz. There was a china tea set in the cupboard that was ‘for best, and had never once been used. Mother even sprayed air freshener in the garden. Mother would never go out, and not even answer the door, unless immaculately groomed, with her beloved pearls around her neck and her hair made stiff with enough hairspray to create its own hole in the ozone layer. She was so used to turning up her nose at everybody and everything, it was in danger of staying that way.
